Here we go.......

I was recently approached (at a bar no less) by a local business owner.  We got to talking about starting a business and life in general.  When I began telling him my story, with the preface that I should have a video crew following me at all times, he suggested that I start blogging.  I had no idea what this whole blogging thing was even about and that people even paid any attention to them.  By no means am I a writer, but I do believe that everyone has a story, I was intrigued by the idea  and in my short 30 years on this planet I have quite the story.  This first post will be pretty lengthy, so put on your comfy pants, grab a glass of vino and I hope you enjoy!!

I grew up in a suburb of Rochester, NY and had a pretty normal childhood.  You know, good parents, nice house, went to dance lessons and was a cheerleader in high school.  I will start my story at the end of my four years at SUNY Fredonia.  Not to say that nothing spectacular happened the first 22 years of my life, but this is when things really got interesting.  When you graduate from College, no one gives you a handbook on how to live and function in society without falling flat on your face.  I guess if there was one, life would be boring.

When I graduated from college, I moved back home with my parents for a few months, then got my first apartment with my now ex-husband.  We thought we had it all figured out.  He had known each other throughout college, he was a fraternity boy/hockey player and I was a sorority girl.  We started what I guess you could call dating our Junior year in college.  I still remember the night I "picked him up" at this wonderful establishment, Sunny's, in Fredonia.  He was shy but confident and I may have had too much to drink at a function prior to going out to the bar.  I remember that night like it was yesterday, beginning of fall semester my Junior year.  I remember getting ready and dressing up ridiculous with my best friends, we called ourselves 100%.  I know, sounds corny and it is, but these girls are still a very important part of my life and I guess we called our little group that because when we were together we went all out, 100%.  Anyways, before we were headed to our sorority bid day party, I remember saying to them, I am so ready for a girls night out, I hate guys (I had just ended a relationship over the summer)  and I just want to go out and dance with my girls.  Well, that was the night I approached my now ex-husband and proclaimed to him I had the biggest crush on him (which I did) and I hoped that he was now single.  It went from there.  We had a great time together for the next two years in college and after those years were behind us, he moved to Rochester, and we started a life together.

We became engaged a year later.  September 23, 2005.  I remember that night.  I had just come home from a two week trip to Illinois for work, was exhausted, and totally pissed that he was late to pick me up from the airport.  When I came home and he proposed, I of course forgave him.  We were married a year to that date later.  Had a huge, beautiful wedding and honeymooned in Hawaii.  Again, we thought we had it all.  Turns out, when you can no longer have the college lifestyle, people change.  We both did. 

We were married for almost four years, and will have been divorced for two years this summer. I don't regret marrying him, and I wish him the best of luck in the future.  He's a good person, just not the person I was meant to be with.  He was not meant to be with me either.  That is all I will say about him, by blogging I do not wish him any ill will and our story is not meant for just me to share.  There are three sides to every story.  My side, your side and the truth.  I'm sure my accounts of the marriage and break up would not match his.  I miss the guy I married, and I miss his brothers, sister and his nephews, but people change, I hope one day to see them all again, and I wish them all the best.

So here I was, a 28 year old divorcee.  I never thought I would be in that position.  I had never lived by myself, I was scared, anxious and had no idea what was in my future. I got my first apartment by myself next to one of my best friends.  Thank God for her.  If she wasn't there I'd be dead in a ditch ( love you sparkly cupcake mouse).  It's very strange the whole divorce thing.  You have no idea how it will effect your entire life and those around you.  I lost many friends, my sanity at times, and a whole lot of money!!!  The strangest thing was how it effects your family and friends.  I felt, and still do to this day as a failure to my parents.  My mother married my father when she was 18 years old and they are still together.  I know that they love me and support me, but you never want to disappoint your parents, and I feel like I did.  They are proud of me, what I have done with my life and would support any decision I make.  I'm just not to the point where I can accept that as a truth. For my friends, when we first separated, all of our mutual friends said they would not pick sides.  But, as I have learned, this can never happen.  I miss a lot of people that were very important to me.  Through this, I have also found out who my real friends are and have made a fabulous new group of friends.  I am so thankful to have met this new group of people and for those that have stuck with me.  Not to say my old friends are bad people because they are not.  Like I said before, people change and they have only heard my ex's side of the story.

So, this is where the story starts.  I was young, newly single and ready to start over.